The free ride is over, boys!

After more than 10 years as a parent, I still make a lot of mistakes. Having my kids participate in household chores is on the long list of things I know I should do but still fail to do.

I listened as my friend described how each weekend her 4- and 6-year-old help with vacuuming while her 8- and 10-year-old clean the bathrooms. I felt sheepish. It's not that my kids don't help at all, but I certainly don't have them doing anything on a regular basis.

I've fallen into the trap of realizing that I can do the housework better and more quickly than my kids can, so I (and Mark) just end up doing the vast majority of it. Plus, there's none of that pesky nagging involved with this option.

The problem with my method, of course, is that my kids aren't exactly learning to do these things for themselves. Sure, they may do a mediocre job at these tasks at first, but they would get better. That's the idea. I get exasperated when the boys treat me like a maid, but I'm a participant in sending the wrong message.

I read a book recently in which a character's wife describes him as "milk-fed veal," meaning he was coddled. He was raised as the only son in his family and his mother, in particular, babied and doted on him. Similarly, my mom described how growing up, her mom and the daughters of her family served her father and brothers.

I don't want my boys to be milk-fed veal, and I certainly don't want them to get the idea that women are there to serve them. In short, I do not want my kids to have a sense of entitlement. Furthermore, I want Ben, Paul and Gus to know how to do these jobs for their own good, so they can go off to college, or whatever, knowing how to clean a bathroom and do laundry.

So it's time, I guess, to start assigning some chores. I may have to put up with a little bit of whining and protest. Maybe I'll remain a little skeptical about having the boys clean the bathroom - I think I know them too well. But setting and clearing the table, vacuuming their rooms, putting away their laundry - those they can do. And we'll build from there. Here's hoping this will do us all some good.