Sometimes it's just stupid to try to be super mom

What is it about women that it's so hard for us to accept help when we need it, even when it's offered? This has been on my mind this week after I got sick for the second time in less than two weeks.

First, I was down and out with the stomach flu. I lay in bed early on a Wednesday morning after enduring a hellish night of vomiting and stomach pain. Mark had a dentist appointment at 8 a.m., and on top of everything, it was the day of that huge snowstorm.

Mark immediately said he would cancel his appointment. "No, no," I moaned, "I can get the boys to school."

Luckily, I have a wonderful husband whose sanity prevailed. He canceled his appointment and made arrangements to have my mom take care of Gus. And thank God because I barely moved the whole day. I most certainly could not have gotten the boys to school.

So, ok, I could accept that one instance of needing help, but then Sunday night, I developed a scratchy throat, and my legs began to ache. I woke up in the middle of the night completely achy, knowing that something was coming.

Sure enough, on Monday morning I woke up with chills, a low-grade fever, and body aches. But no, I was not having it. I showered and drove Ben and Paul to school and got Gus to preschool.

I was starting to feel pretty lousy walking out to the car at Gus's school, but still I was thinking, I can do this. I will rest when I can, drink tea with honey and lemon. I will pick up Gus, make him lunch, keep the play date with my friend and her son, make supper. Sure, I'd be wiped out, but my family would look at me with admiration, thinking, she just keeps pushing through even when things are hard.

Clearly I was delirious. My family would think I was an idiot for trying to do it all while sick (and would be really keen on eating a meal prepared by a sicko, I'm sure), and I'm sure my friend would be delighted with me for keeping a play date while nursing an illness with fever.

It didn't matter, because physiology took over as soon as I walked in the door. I tried to sit in a chair and read, but even that was too much. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and my fever was climbing. Meekly, I called my mom and asked for help. I even told her I'd pick up Gus from school and bring him to her house. My mom, being the angel she is, of course said she'd pick up Gus, keep him the rest of the day and make supper for us. Play date canceled, I sacked out in bed the rest of the day.

Here's the thing. My mom wants to help. She's one of those generous people who's made happy by making her children's live easier. I know this. When people ask me for help I feel honored that they've trusted me enough to ask. I'm more than happy to do it if I can. And yet it's still so hard to accept assistance.

I guess it will remain a mystery, this resistance to asking for help. All I can say is this: if someone offers aid; if you're lucky enough to have someone in your life who's there for you, for God's sake, take that help when you need it. You'll be doing yourself a favor and maybe even making someone else feel good in the process.

Now, to diverge a little bit. I don't know about you, but I have so had it with winter. I get to this point every year around this time. This is when I need to start actively looking for little bits of happiness.

Today I found one of those morsels. It was my day to volunteer in Paul's first-grade classroom, which has brought me unexpected joy this year. I had asked the teacher's permission to bring Valentine's cookies. I'd promised Paul I'd bring bakery cookies for Christmas until a snow day canceled it, so I owed him.

I called the bakery to order the cookies yesterday, and the woman asked if I wanted the small ones. By small, I pictured her meaning miniature, so I said that we probably should do bigger. Silly me. In these times, small means normal size and "bigger" means ginormous.

So I brought these huge frosted heart cookies to the class, and I explained to Paul's teacher a little sheepishly that they were really big and apologized for the sugar rush. At least it was 2:30 and the kids would soon be leaving for the day.

As I was getting ready to go, the kids yelled a big thank you, and several came and enveloped me in big hugs. I left with a warm feeling in my heart and a huge smile on my face.

So whether you take pleasure in noticing the days gradually increasing in length or you decide to give a bunch of first-graders a sugar high, find yourself some little joys that will bring you through to the warmth of April. Happy late winter, y'all.