Seven years (and change) ago, this moment never would have crossed my mind. I was brand new to my role as stay-at-home mom. (Sorry - I know that phrase irritates some, but I don't much care for "homemaker." It conjures images of a woman wearing a full-skirted dress and high heels, pulling a pot roast out of the oven. She probably needs Valium to get through her day, which, incidentally, I can understand.)
I had recently quit my full-time job at Kimberly-Clark to care full-time for Ben and newborn Paul. I knew we wanted three kids, so this would be my life for the foreseeable future. I love the phrase, "The days are long, but the years are short." It sums up the past seven years perfectly.
I'm on the cusp of change. Gus will be in school half days in the fall, and lately, the idea of going back to work has been gnawing at me. I feel a little stuck right now, because I'd like to plan, but I'm not even ready to start applying for jobs.
If only the picture of me working outside the home weren't so blurry. My career before kids was kind of a mishmash. My degree is in journalism, and I spent my first year out of college as a copy editor at The Oshkosh Northwestern. It was a job I loved, but the hours were making me miserable. I worked second shift and every weekend. Mark and I were newlyweds, working opposite schedules. I saw him two nights a week, and that was about it. I left before he got home from work, and he was in bed asleep when I arrived.
Looking back, I wish I would've stuck it out in the newspaper business, but I didn't. My brother worked at K-C and told me about an administrative assistant position. I stayed with K-C for the next four-plus years. I can't say the job brought me nearly as much fulfillment as copy-editing, but the hours sure were nice, as was giving up the commute to Oshkosh. Plus, administrative assistant work at a major corporation pays more than my other career. That's journalism for ya.
So here I sit thinking I'd like to get back out there in the not-too-distant future. I'd like to be able to save my income for the boys' education. It would be lovely to be able to help Ben, Paul and Gus, even if it's just some. I shudder to think how expensive college will be, and I hate the idea of sending my kids into the world saddled with crippling debt.
But what would I do for work? I felt confident in my computer skills ... almost a decade ago, but something tells me employers wouldn't think they're so fresh today. I'm sure it's a whole world of new computer applications about which I know nothing.
I wish I had a background with an obvious path. My friend, a social worker and fellow stay-at-home mom, has been able to stay minimally connected to her field, teaching parenting classes, staying current on her skills so she can easily segue back in at some point.
I envy my friend and my mom, who after raising kids for 15 years, knew exactly what she wanted to do. She went to UW-Oshkosh to become recertified as a teacher. Seeing that Menasha was starting an elementary foreign language program, my mom knew instantly that she'd love to teach Spanish to elementary students. She pursued it with all her energy and got her dream job.
Me, I have no idea what to do. And I have all these disclaimers. I'd like to work part-time. It'd be great to have a flexible schedule so I could take care of the boys when they're sick, chaperone field trips, volunteer at school. Gosh, I'd love to still have the summers off. I'm starting to think it's all pie in the sky.
I vascilate between wanting to do find a career that will be really fulfilling and wanting something that's easy and won't require a whole lot of me - just a paycheck. It's intimidating, this contemplating re-entering the workforce after a seven-year hiatus. I'm filled with a potent mix of excitement, dread and sorrow. As you can see, I'm freaking out a little bit here.
One thing's for sure, whenever I'm ready to make my move, it's going to be a process. It could take time, and I may not find the perfect opportunity on the first try. I'm steeling myself for some trying times. Wish me luck in my journey.
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