This phrasing surely will make me sound old and parental, but in my day, friendships came easily. You would find kids your age in your neighborhood, and by default, you simply hung out with them. They were your friends. When I was Ben's age, my brothers and I spent every day after school and all summer playing with friends. Ben, on the other hand, was spending almost all of his free time with me and his brothers. I don't know if it's just my family, or if things have changed, but making friends doesn't seem so easy anymore. It seems like rather than kids just approaching one another and asking to play, moms and dads set up play dates.
Yes, I'm shy and Ben's shy. It doesn't come naturally for me to say to the neighbor mom, "Hey, let's get the kids together to play!" And Ben approaching the kids across the street to see if he could have in on their outdoor game? That wasn't happening. It was getting to the point that I was starting to worry. Ben never asked to have kids from his class over to the house. I had encouraged Ben many times to see if the boy and two girls across the street wanted to play, knowing full well that he would never do it.
Finally, two weeks ago when the weather was nice, I saw Ben staring longingly at the kids playing in their driveway. I could tell that he so badly wanted to play with them. I decided then that I would have to facilitate the friendship, but before I could do it, my husband stepped in and invited the kids to come play with Ben and Paul. Much to my delight, I looked out the window one afternoon to find my boys playing baseball with Ben, Sophie and Lilly. That was all it took. Ben no longer is afraid to approach the neighbor kids, and he and his brother often spend many hours across the street or at our house playing with their friends. Now if only someone could facilitate some mom friendships for me ...
