In my 10-plus years of motherhood, I've taken in my share of kid sporting events. Now I'm here to say that I can sort of understand how acrimony breaks out at these things. It's unjustified and unfortunate, but I can see how it happens.
Let me say right away that I cannot understand how parents can get angry with their own child for making mistakes or with other kids on their child's team for doing so. Similarly, I don't think it's fair to begrudge an opposing team doing well. What I can see is how resentment and irritation starts to build among the cheering parents.
After devoting his young life to baseball, Ben decided this past winter that he'd like to switch to playing soccer. Last night, Ben had his first recreational league soccer game of the season. The team had never practiced together, and it was a rough one. Ben's team didn't score a single goal, and I lost count of how many the other team netted. Ben put it at 17.
I took in the slaughter with pity for Ben's poor team. As I was watching, I'm sorry to say that anger began to bubble up in me, too. The opposing team's parents cheered vociferously for each goal. After the fifth or sixth, I began to think, "Really? This big show of enthusiasm for every goal. These people are classless."
One mom in front of me laughed each time her son's team scored a goal. Is she really laughing at how poorly my son's team is performing? Of course, in reality I have no idea her motivation for laughing. My point is, I was becoming a little petty and overly sensitive.
I've been on both sides of this scenario. Ben's YMCA indoor soccer team dominated this past spring. I cheered every goal - loudly. His flag football team is undefeated, and the parents aren't keeping their joy to themselves. Sitting in that seat, I know it's just my excitement over the team's success that's propelling my enthusiasm. It's not meant to hurt the opposing team's kids or parents. So why is it so hard to remember that when Ben or Paul's team is on the losing end?
When it comes to kids and sports, I suppose the key point, the one I sometimes lose sight of, is to remember to keep it about the kids. I'm going to go into this season of many games trying to keep that in perspective. If an opposing team mom sitting next to me wants to cheer her son or daughter's success, I'm going to have to try to suck it up and just let her enjoy that moment.
As Ben and I were walking to the car after the pulverizing match last night, I took an empathetic tone: "Sorry, buddy." But you know what? Ben wasn't overly bummed. "I still had fun," he told me. And he did. Ben got to run around doing something he loves. In the end, that's all that really matters. But maybe if your child's team has just scored, say, 10 unanswered goals, consider tamping down on the celebration. Just a little bit. ;)
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