Coloring outside the lines

As I sat in the kitchen with Gus, I felt my back tense, my heart rate accelerate ever so slightly, I pinched the bridge of my nose and struggled to maintain composure. Yes, we were having creative differences over how he should decorate his Valentine's Day mailbox.

More like what I had in mind for Gus's box ...

Gus wanted to style it in his own way. I had taped red and pink construction paper to an oatmeal container and cut out a hole in the top. His little hand gripped a marker, poised to heedlessly put down whatever drawing came into his head. And it probably had nothing to do with hearts, I'll tell you that much.

I had to battle my control-freak tendencies in a major way. I think I actually employed some deep breathing to stop myself from commandeering the whole project and imposing my will.

What we settled on

Even as I was experiencing it, I knew I was being ridiculous. What does it matter, and what would it mean if I'd gotten my way? He wanted to do his own thing, and there was no reason for me to stop him. Yet, I had this picture in mind, this picture of perfection. How silly is it, though? I can just see it. Wow, Gus, what an awesome Valentine's Day box YOUR MOM made. She really can go online and follow some instructions.

Some of Gus's best wok

Gus loves to draw and color, and thank God for it. Imaginative play is not a natural for me, but I can happily sit down with him and take up some colored pencils or crayons. I adore this time together. Hilariously, my youngest sometimes emulates the words I occasionally use. "This isn't my best wok [work]," he'll declare.

Inevitably, Gus creates something cool that he sees in his mind, while I take an illustration from a book or a picture from online and copy it. G thinks this is pretty impressive. But really, almost any adult can copy a picture. If you asked me to draw my own interpretation of something the way he does, I'd be lost.

Paul is the same way. He actually craves indoor recess. All he needs is a notebook and a pencil so he can happily sketch whatever is his latest obsession: birds, Greek warriors, maybe a character from his Disney Infinity game.

Paul's output from a winter full of indoor recess

All of this resonated with me when we took the boys to see The Lego Movie. It took me by surprise. The filmmakers could have so easily phoned it in and still made lots of money. I mean, it's Lego. Parents will take their kids either way. Instead it was unexpectedly poignant. It was chockfull of humor and so many sight gags, it would take multiple viewings to catch it all.

My drawing with Google Images as my inspiration

I wouldn't dream of spoiling any of the major plot points, but it's not giving away too much to say it had a great message. Everyone has potential, and anyone can turn him or herself into something special.

I know it's right to let my kids follow their own paths, even though sometimes it's hard not to impose on my kids my ideas of what's aesthetically pleasing. Pablo Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up.”

I fear I've lost most of my artistic instincts, but my kids blessedly still have theirs. Each one has his own beautiful mind. Ben yearns to learn about everything, while Paul takes one subject and wants to learn everything about it. Gus, well, I'm not sure yet. If his mind is like what he puts out into the world, it's cacophonous but filled to the brim with ideas and creativity.

It may take some effort, but I intend to let those beautiful minds roam free, staying far away from adult conformity for as long as possible.