Thursday, June 6, 2013

A piece of advice: be your child's advocate

When Mark and I were going through the process of deciding whether to accelerate Ben from first to third grade, the teachers and principal helping us left us with one big message. No matter what you choose to do, you need to be an advocate for your child. Three years later, we're still following that advice, and this past week we've had to put it to the test.

Ben has been receiving gifted-talented services since first grade. Last Wednesday, we received a letter telling us that he no longer qualified. The reason for the decision is a little long and hard to explain. I will try to make a long story short. While Ben's scored extremely well on the MAPS, an academic test the districts uses, and the gifted-talented assessment, his WKCE (state standardized test) scores did not hold up as well when compared to scores across the nation. For that reason, the district decided to remove him from the G-T roster for next fall.

We had spent years working with teachers to get Ben's needs met. A team from Ben's school helped us make the decision to advance Ben to third grade. I know Menasha faces many challenges as a district, but I felt confident in its teachers and administrators. As I read the letter, I felt stunned, like the district had suddenly and unceremoniously abandoned Ben. 

In the days that followed, as the news sunk in, our anger and bafflement only grew. We know Ben is gifted, and his classroom teacher was just as surprised as we were when we approached her with the news. All along, we've had teachers telling us that it's hard for them to meet Ben's needs, and suddenly the one thing that had helped keep Ben on the radar was being taken away.

The frustration that we felt is what so many parents feel, I'm sure. When making important decisions about a child's education, it's vital to look at all the aspects of that individual. It's not right to reduce him or her to a number, a score. And that is exactly what we felt was happening. Every other bit of evidence pointed to Ben needing these services, but one piece excluded him, and that was it.

We had a phone conversation and then a face-t0-face meeting with the district's G-T coordinator. He was sympathetic but steadfast in his refusal to reconsider, arguing that changing the standards for Ben would "open the floodgates," forcing the district to re-examine every child whose parents received a letter (hmmm ... not a bad idea, now that you mention it). "Do I think Ben is gifted? Yes," he said, only adding to our consternation.

When we pressed the coordinator, we learned that a handful of kids were in Ben's same situation (not exactly a flood of kids) with high scores on the two tests and lower on the WKCE. Something did not seem right about that. We knew that the bar was set higher for the WKCE this past fall. Kids may have performed similarly to the previous year, but their scores may have been lower because of the new standards. Perhaps, we thought, this wasn't the best year to make decisions about taking kids out of G-T based on that test.

It didn't take long for us to decide to take our grievance to the next level of administration, the director of curriculum. We had a meeting this morning and went in ready for a fight. Mark had a speech all prepared, stating explicitly that we wanted Ben placed back in G-T.

Mark began to talk. When he reached the point at which he described accelerating Ben, the director stopped us. "What? Did you say Ben was accelerated?" 

Aha. She didn't have the whole picture. This was my point. Each child who was cut from the program deserved a close and thorough look. In the end, I don't think the missing information was even the deciding factor, but it didn't take long for the director to tell us that Ben had been reinstated into the program. 

The news came so quickly, it was almost like a TV show or movie, where the person doesn't hear the good news and just keeps arguing. Say what? Mark didn't even get to finish his speech! I practically broke down in tears of relief, so stressed had I been for the past week.

I don't want to blame the district, and I don't harbor any ill will (or much, anyway). But I do know that bit of long-ago advice came in handy. We advocated for Ben, and it worked. We got him what we felt he needed. It wasn't easy. I'm not comfortable being pushy, but it was so worth it.

Your situations may not be exactly like ours. Paul falls somewhere more in the middle of the pack. Gus has a whole set of different issues (we may well need to advocate for him in completely different ways). In a time when school districts are stressed to the max, we as parents really need to step up to make sure our kids' needs are being met.

I share my story in hopes that it might help you. Fight. Fight for your kids. 

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