When I peered into Gus's backpack last Friday, I
discovered a summer school progress report that had managed to escape my
notice. Its contents renewed in me a bit of long-held worry that I've had
regarding my youngest.
For nearly every skill, Gus received a "P" for
please practice (as opposed to a "*" for I can do this!). I wasn't
concerned with the marks for skills like writing, scissors grip, and
organization of personal belongings. He's 3. Those will come.
It was seeing the comments in the areas of "follows
safety rules" and "responds to adult requests" that made my
stomach do a little flip. Next to the former, his teacher wrote that he has
"difficulty following in a line, even when he has a specific color shirt
to follow." For the latter, she noted that "he does not stop or
listen when his name is called." Finally, at the bottom, she concluded
that Gus needs many daily/hourly reminders of the expectations, saying that he
is a loving, funny, outgoing boy. Yeah, that about sums him up.
I can't say that Gus's teacher's comments shocked me.
I've been coping with his larger-than-life personality basically since his
birth. I was hopeful, however, that G was doing really well in summer school,
that he would somehow experience a transformation.
For a year or two now, I've had this nagging fear that
Gus may have ADHD. It's a big what-if that I turn over and over in my mind.
What would we do? What would it be like for him? What would his Gus's teachers
think of us? Neither Ben nor Paul has had any major behavioral problems to
speak of. This is new territory for us.
Spurred by my increasing angst, I emailed Gus's teacher,
asking whether Gus's activity level and attention spanned seemed out of the
norm for a child his age. She wrote back assuring me that Gus did show
improvement throughout the session but that he still was inconsistent, which is
normal for his age. She further reiterated that he was friendly and played well
with other children, which are great characteristics that can't be taught.
The reassurance made me feel better, but realistically, I
know that still might not quiet my deepest worries. A lot of times, with my
anxious mind, I just let the what-ifs keep piling without even answering them,
a sure-fire way to let anxiety multiply. So what if Gus did have ADHD? Well, it
would be tough news, but we'd adapt. He'd adapt. I know that "if" is
a big if. Either way, we've got a boy with a lot of energy and we'll need to
find ways to work with that.
As I watched Gus's talent show on the last day of summer
school, I saw a boy boiling over with excitement and enthusiasm. In the video I
took, you can see Big G biting on the collar of his shirt, his arms flapping with
anticipation of singing his song. You can hear his teacher whispering "Gus,
get your shirt out of your mouth." That's the boy I know and love. At the
end of her email to me, Gus's teacher wrote, "I have no doubt that Gus
will do great in school and in life." I have no doubt either, even if the journey is a little more challenging than I'd anticipated.
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