Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Mine is the one with the shirt in his mouth



When I peered into Gus's backpack last Friday, I discovered a summer school progress report that had managed to escape my notice. Its contents renewed in me a bit of long-held worry that I've had regarding my youngest.

For nearly every skill, Gus received a "P" for please practice (as opposed to a "*" for I can do this!). I wasn't concerned with the marks for skills like writing, scissors grip, and organization of personal belongings. He's 3. Those will come.

It was seeing the comments in the areas of "follows safety rules" and "responds to adult requests" that made my stomach do a little flip. Next to the former, his teacher wrote that he has "difficulty following in a line, even when he has a specific color shirt to follow." For the latter, she noted that "he does not stop or listen when his name is called." Finally, at the bottom, she concluded that Gus needs many daily/hourly reminders of the expectations, saying that he is a loving, funny, outgoing boy. Yeah, that about sums him up.

I can't say that Gus's teacher's comments shocked me. I've been coping with his larger-than-life personality basically since his birth. I was hopeful, however, that G was doing really well in summer school, that he would somehow experience a transformation.

For a year or two now, I've had this nagging fear that Gus may have ADHD. It's a big what-if that I turn over and over in my mind. What would we do? What would it be like for him? What would his Gus's teachers think of us? Neither Ben nor Paul has had any major behavioral problems to speak of. This is new territory for us.

Spurred by my increasing angst, I emailed Gus's teacher, asking whether Gus's activity level and attention spanned seemed out of the norm for a child his age. She wrote back assuring me that Gus did show improvement throughout the session but that he still was inconsistent, which is normal for his age. She further reiterated that he was friendly and played well with other children, which are great characteristics that can't be taught.

The reassurance made me feel better, but realistically, I know that still might not quiet my deepest worries. A lot of times, with my anxious mind, I just let the what-ifs keep piling without even answering them, a sure-fire way to let anxiety multiply. So what if Gus did have ADHD? Well, it would be tough news, but we'd adapt. He'd adapt. I know that "if" is a big if. Either way, we've got a boy with a lot of energy and we'll need to find ways to work with that.

As I watched Gus's talent show on the last day of summer school, I saw a boy boiling over with excitement and enthusiasm. In the video I took, you can see Big G biting on the collar of his shirt, his arms flapping with anticipation of singing his song. You can hear his teacher whispering "Gus, get your shirt out of your mouth." That's the boy I know and love. At the end of her email to me, Gus's teacher wrote, "I have no doubt that Gus will do great in school and in life." I have no doubt either, even if the journey is a little more challenging than I'd anticipated.

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