The kid's gonna be alright

After much thought, debate and worry, we have made the decision to have Ben skip second grade and go to third next year. We could not have asked for better support from Ben's school. The principal and team of teachers who helped us gave us excellent insight and advice throughout.

The decision-making process was tough for me. My honest inclination had been to have Ben proceed to second grade. It certainly would have been the safe choice, and the safe choice usually is the one I go with. I grappled with lots of what-ifs. What if: leaving his first-grade friends behind makes him really sad, he finds third grade too challenging, it all turns out terribly and Ben ends up hating us and we ruin his whole life? Yeah, I can be a little melodramatic. Of course, there were just as many what-ifs about having him stay on his current path. Obviously I didn't have a crystal ball to allow me to look into the future and get answers to all my what-ifs. However, when I looked at the situation with a clear head, I knew that odds were that Ben would do fine either way. Finally, I (and Mark, of course) decided: why not give him the chance? What if it turns out great?

At our final meeting with school staff, the principal imparted a last bit of wisdom: whatever you decide, don't play the what-if game, just get behind your decision and be confident in it. Clearly Mr. Dahm doesn't know me very well if he thinks I can avoid that game. Nevertheless, it's good advice, and I'm trying to follow it.

When we broke the news to Ben, he responded with a positive sounding, "OK." I suppose that's the best I could hope for. We are, after all, asking him to make a pretty big change. Now that we have made the decision, Ben has been doing some transitioning to get used to his new classmates. That included going to watch the all-city track meet with the second-graders, a privilege the first-graders don't get. I had the opportunity to go along. I sat a couple rows behind and watched my boy. He sat next to a girl from his math class. They bent their heads close and talked and giggled. When the class lined up to walk back to school, Ben fit right in. Sometimes I watch him and he seems so grown up it takes my breath away. I knew it watching Ben then. The kid's gonna be alright.