Never thought I'd be the early bird

For as long as I can remember, I have loved sleep. I lived for lingering in bed a few extra hours on the weekend, not that I got to do that too often after having kids. That all changed when I began to have occasional bouts with insomnia two months ago. One random night, I lay in bed not able to sleep, more and more worried about the next day as the hours ticked past. Not a big deal, right? Surely you can survive a sleepless night or two? Leave it to me and my anxious mind to turn it into a big deal. Turns out self-fulfilling prophecy is real. I worried and worried about sleeplessness becoming a pattern, and lo and behold it did. There's nothing like lying in bed fretting about falling asleep to stop you from doing just that.

My little problem became a big deal (at least in my neurotic mind) for a few weeks. At least one or two nights a week, I would wake up wide awake after maybe an hour of sleep. I'd lie there tossing and turning, shooting daggers at Mark for being able to sleep so easily when I was struggling so much. I had read that you aren't supposed to lie awake frustrated in bed, so I would get up and stalk through the house like a prowler, looking for some activity that would tire me out or bore me to sleep. Inevitably, the entire time I was up, I would feel agitated about not sleeping, again, not a sleep-promoting feeling. It was beginning to take a toll. Some nights I might only net about four hours of sleep, and I would be drowsy and crabby by 10 a.m. the next day.

I did what most people do when faced with a problem: searched the internet for a solution. I learned a lot. Insomnia affects women more than men (poor women, we get everything). Keeping a sleep schedule is important - going to sleep and waking up at roughly the same time every day. And I learned that I definitely didn't want to take sleeping pills or herbal remedies, as they don't work long-term. I needed a sustainable solution.

Finally I came across an article in Good Housekeeping suggesting a website called CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) for Insomnia. A renowned sleep expert created the program, available for purchase for the low, low price of $29.95. I was in. For my money, I got a program to follow, and each week I was to submit a sleep diary. I would then receive interactive sleep tips and sleep schedule recommendations from the doctor. I'm happy to say that the "positive self talk" and "sleep-promoting ideas" that I was supposed to hold in my head worked for me. I was beginning to have better nights.

Then I received my first sleep schedule from the doctor, and I balked. He wanted me to go to bed no earlier than 10:30 p.m. and wake up at 6 a.m. I didn't want to stay up until 10:30. I'm usually dead on my feet by 9 p.m. And waking up at 6 a.m.? On a Saturday? I got over it and decided I would try to follow it. I did my best but deviated some. As I submitted more diaries, the recommendations changed, and I found schedules that worked better for me. That brings me to now, when I'm aiming to go to sleep no earlier than 9:30 p.m. and up by 5:30 a.m., an hour that not so long ago I would have found depressingly early.

The amazing thing is that I've grown to actually like the early rising. It gives me a little kid-free time, and some mornings I even haul it over to the Y first thing to swim laps. So I'm no longer getting the eight or nine hours of sleep I used to crave. Most days it's more like seven and a half, but I'll take it. Being a parent is all about adapting, so I was well-prepared to do it yet again.