As I've written in the past, Catholicism is like a huge,
dysfunctional family to me. I love my family, but sometimes I have a really
hard time understanding and accepting it. In this case, my family is complete
with the equivalent of a grandpa who makes mortifying racist remarks. Only in
this case, instead we have a Pope, cardinals and bishops who make mortifying
anti-gay remarks. I'm sorry, Catholic Church, there have got to be more
important issues over which to throw down the gauntlet. Many, many, many more important
issues.
I've shied away from writing about it, but Bishop David
Ricken's election-time letter (or if you see it the way I do, his very thinly
veiled attempt to intimidate Catholics into voting for Romney) bothered me no
end. The letter specifically attacks
abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem
cell research, human cloning (human cloning?), and homosexual
"marriage," as Ricken described it. More than ever before, his
missive really had me second-guessing whether the Catholic Church was the right
place for me.
Here is an excerpt from Ricken's letter. "But what
does this have to do with the election?
Some candidates and one party have even chosen some of these as their
party's or their personal political platform.
To vote for someone in favor of these positions means that you could be
morally 'complicit' with these choices which are intrinsically evil. This could
put your own soul in jeopardy."
Wow, my soul in jeopardy. Those are some strong words. I
thought threats like these belonged to another century. For the life of me, I
don't see how political choices can be that black-and-white to anyone.
In short, I struggled mightily. Mark and I discussed our
concerns with our parish priest. Through it all, though, we've stuck with our
church. I guess I keep coming back to the idea that I'd like to stay and hope I
can try to be a part of change in the church from within. Ultimately, too, it's hard to leave your
family.
After that very long prelude, I don't want to write about
the new pope. I've seen some good and some discouraging about him, so I'll just
hope and pray that he takes the church in a positive direction.
Instead, I want to write about a positive experience we
had this Lent. Last week, Mark took Ben and Paul to a special Lenten program
for faith formation. At the event, kids and parents were asked to complete a
project: "Our Family's Lenten Promise to God." On a poster, kids and
parents were asked to choose and record negative activities to fast from and
positive ones to feast on for each of the remaining three weeks of Lent.
To Mark's surprise, the kids, especially Ben, really dug
in and thought about it. Bright and early the next morning, Paul told me I
needed to add my fasting and feasting goals to the poster, so naturally I
completed my assignment posthaste. Week 1 - fast from negativity, feast on acts
of kindness. Week 2 - fast from iPad (well dramatically cut back, anyway),
feast on mindfulness and reflection. Week 3 - fast from judging others, feast
on counting my blessings.
It's not like this has been a magic tool for creating
harmony in our house, but the poster is on our fridge, and we're using it to
try to keep one another on track. "Ben, are you fasting from
arguing?" "Paul, remember what you said about pouting and
complaining?"
I must say, this activity has been good for me. For me,
Lent is a time to look closely at myself, but it's easy to grow complacent with
my goals. This has gotten me more focused, and I'm checking myself on bad
habits more often.
Something tells me my relationship with church will
remain stuck at "it's complicated." While, I work through it all, I'm
going to hold on to all the positives I can find.
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