Forgotten video footage unearths memories and stirs emotions

In anticipation of Ben turning 10 next month (sniff, sniff), Mark and I have set out to create a video or slideshow chronicling the years of his life. A few years ago, we decided to trade up to a small, handheld video camera, so we sold our older, larger one on eBay. Discovering much footage with which we'd done nothing, Mark hastily downloaded it onto the computer, and there it sat, again untouched.

Last weekend, I delved into our videos to see what discoveries awaited me. I was familiar with some of what I found, for I did do a little viewing when Mark downloaded all the video. One of my favorites is Ben, age 3, the Christmas after Paul was born. He opens a gift, and it's an outfit for his Build-a-Bear monkey, Clarence. (How Ben conjured the name Clarence at the age of 3, I still have no idea.) Ben says in this adorable little voice, "It's cwothes! For Cwarence!" Ben and I watched it together when I stumbled upon it again, and we shared lots of giggles.

Much of what I found, though, was new to me. Lots of it rekindled memories long forgotten, like the one of Ben and his cousin Nora, both probably a few months shy of 2, playing ring around the rosie in our kitchen. Once inseparable at family gatherings, now that Ben and Nora are both nearing 10, they're sadly not as tight as they used to be. It made me wish for the good, old days a little bit.

What astounded me most in my walk down memory lane was how much I'd forgotten entirely. I watched video from a birthday party of Paul's. My aunt from Chicago was there, and I'd completely forgotten the visit. For the life of me, I cannot remember a thing from that day.

I viewed the forgotten footage with a mix of happiness and sorrow. I was delighted to be able to relive these moments, and I treasured being able to see the boys again as they were when they were tiny. But the experience also got me reflecting on how easy it is to forget days, weeks, months of time. Sometimes I let days go by between updating my daily journal - I try to keep a short record of the happenings of each day. When I try to go back and recall what we did, say, six days ago, it's a real struggle. Imagine all the little memories that get lost over the years.

OK, so this is getting a little depressing, but all of this made me want to redouble my efforts to preserve memories. Like many parents, our initial enthusiasm for getting out the video camera has waned. I want to make sure that we record more, especially the little mundane moments, like the one I found of Paul and Ben singing "On Top of Spaghetti" on an ordinary winter day. Much as I'd like to sometimes, there's no stopping time and no going back, but I'll take heart in the fact that at least we have ways to hold on to a little piece of those moments.