This one's for the moms I love

Ben

Paul

Gus

It hit me all at once, not two weeks after Ben was born, the magnitude of what parents, my parents, all parents, give to bring up their children. Sure, I had just barely become a mother, but fueled by wildly fluctuating hormones, post-pregnancy mood swings and sleep deprivation, I penned a sappy letter to my parents thanking them for all the sacrifices they'd made for me. Almost 10 years into parenthood, my appreciation has only deepened, because as veteran parents know, those hazy, sleep-deprived first weeks look easy compared to the myriad challenges that arise in the daily job of bringing up kids.

I'm a day late, as usual, giving my Mother's Day salute, but today happens to be my mom's 67th birthday, so I'm still good, I think. One of my favorite mom quotes, one I've used here before, describes moms as the place where we deposit all our hurts and worries. That couldn't be more true for me. I gave my mom a pretty hard time growing up. I was a bundle of emotions, and all of the negative ones, I seemed to heap onto her. Every time I think my kids are difficult, I remember that they're probably still nowhere near the pain that I was. I guess it says a lot about my mom. True, she didn't disown me - that's a lot, but I think she was my safe spot, the place where I could let go of all my hurt and frustration. Now, that's a thankless job. I wish I would've gone easier on her, but I hope I'm making up for it now.

I became a mom fairly young - 25, and part of that choice was a desire to have my kids really know their grandparents, to have many years to spend with them. Watching my mom with her grandsons is one of my greatest joys. She is everything a grandma should be. Sure, my kids enjoy all the stereotypical grandparent perks. They get spoiled a little bit, get more treats at Grandma and Grandpa's, but I hope what they will hold dear are memories of my mom playing games with them, reading to them, teaching Paul to sew.

So I have a truly great mom, but I'm lucky enough to also have a wonderful mother-in-law. Carol and I are kindred spirits, both moms of only sons. I came across this piece about moms of boys on the Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenny-isenman/moms-of-boys_b_1320116.html (read it if you have time - it's terrific). I could relate to its description of the fear that moms of boys feel that they are destined to lose their sons after they get married. It made me think of Carol, too. It can't be easy for her, but Carol is the most gracious mother-in-law I know. She and Leon have made it so easy to become a part of their family. So, Carol, have I mentioned your wonderful cooking, decorating, and, most importantly, the incredible way you raised your sons? Also, your skin is miraculously never-aging. Seriously, the woman raised twice the amount of boys that I'm raising! She should be canonized.

Lastly, I want to thank my three beautiful boys for making me a mother. I cherish the gift I have been given in you three, and the joy and wonder you give me in watching you grow is never-ending.