Thursday will mark the end of an era. Five and half years ago, the arrival of Paul began my journey as a stay-at-home mom. He's been with me every step of the way, so it is with decidedly mixed emotions that I will be sending him to kindergarten. Like all milestones, it's bittersweet. I will miss seeing his sweet face and having him available for a snuggle whenever I want to take one.
Now that the time for school is upon us, I want to take back all the times the boys were squabbling and I wished that school would just start already, as if by some feat of magical thinking I could gain back those hours and days. Even if I'd cherished every moment, this day still would have arrived just as quickly, I know. OK, so my heart is heavy right now. The parenting book I'm reading right now urges me to acknowledge what I'm feeling and accept it. I'm sad, and that's OK!
This time around, I have the benefit of experience on my side (not to mention the fact that, unlike when Ben started kindergarten, I don't have a 2-week-old and wacky hormones to deal with). I know from doing this once already that the first days are hard, but soon everything will feel routine. With my heavy heart, that's what I'm going to hold onto for now. I'll focus on that and the new friends and new experiences I hope await my dear boy. Ready or not, it's time for Paul and me to embark on a new journey. Maybe I'll have some new adventures awaiting me as well. No matter what, each day at 3:30 I'll be waiting to claim my missed snuggles.
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