Can't we meet somewhere in the middle?

I find it endlessly fascinating that all my boys could turn out so differently from one another. Take Paulie and Gus. As I have written about extensively, Paulie has huge separation anxiety. This, I've discovered, extends beyond just leaving me to go to school or what have you. When I brought him to swimming lessons the other day, he asked me ad nauseum where I would be sitting while he was swimming. Clearly he simply would not be comfortable until he had me firmly pinned down. Once he saw me perched in my spot, he waved happily and was fine. A few weeks back my mom and I took all three boys to a large park. Paulie stayed right on my heels the entire time. If I dare say this about my darling boy, he sometimes carries his need to be close to me to the point of annoyance. At the library one day, while he was looking at movies, I wandered to a spot, where I could still see him, to look at something else. He, however, could not see me and immediately launched into a full-on panic, crying hysterically.

On the other hand, we have Gus. I've written, also extensively, about Gus's risk-taking and reckless behavior. I think it's fair to say he's the polar opposite of Paulie in this way. If you could have spied on me at Ben's kickball game yesterday, here's what you would have seen: Gus running away from me at any opportunity, me running after him and Paulie hot on my trail. Scenes like this play out anywhere we go together.

One rainy Friday a few weeks ago, I took Paulie and Gus to the children's museum. It was incredibly crowded, filled not only with parents and kids seeking a rainy day activity but also many school field trips. The boys and I were playing when I turned my head for a second and saw Gus run off. I even saw the direction in which he ran, but he's unbelievably fast. For what must be the longest 90 seconds of my life, I could not find him. I ran from place to place, panic mounting, Paulie running after me. The children's museum is a big place, on two stories. What if he'd gotten down the stairs, someone had taken him? Furthermore I knew that the longer he was missing, the farther he could get from me, that it could be incredibly difficult to spot him in the sea of people. Finally I found him, happy as can be, playing in the water area. He was not at all concerned, I might add, that his mother was nowhere in sight. When I found him, I was dizzy with relief. Another reminder that I cannot let him out of my sight, even for a second.

So Paulie and Gus, here's what I propose: Paulie, you give Gus a little of your fear; Gus, you give Paulie a little of your confidence. Do this, and you'll make your mother a much happier and saner person.