Allow me to begin with a disclaimer. I find parents who brag about their kids' intellect completely irritating. Junior scored a 32 on his ACTs? Jen got straight A's on her report card again? Don't crow about it to me. I think sharing in the delight of that achievement is best saved for a conversation between spouses or maybe, at the farthest reaches, proud grandparents. If you ask me, sharing specifics about your children's academic achievements with anyone and everyone who will listen is in poor taste.
That sense of annoyance I've had with those prideful parents in the past combined with my fear of sounding boastful about my own kids has made it hard for me to talk with anyone about Ben's abilities. But here I go, and I hope I don't come off as the insufferable sort of parent. The kid is smart. Scary smart. Looking back, I suppose we saw it first when he was about 3. Soon after Ben's third birthday, we thought he might like to try his hand at playing games. He took to it immediately, staying focused, learning the rules, always wanting to learn new, more challenging games.
When he hit 4, he began to read, just taught himself to read, really. Like all parents, Mark and I had read to him, and I had worked with him a little on phonics, but for the most part, he just picked it up on his own. When he was 5, we had gotten Chinese takeout one night. On the back of the fortune cookie slip, he read off his list of lucky numbers and then said he wanted to figure out his "big lucky number." He added the list of five two digit-numbers in his head and announced the answer. I whipped out the calculator to check his work, and sure enough, he was right. (I must say as someone who's completely math deficient, it's his arithmetic abilities that mystify me the most.) I suppose what is there really to brag about? Ben was born brainy, just as one might be born with green eyes or curly hair.
When kindergarten came around, Ben's teachers simply adapted. The wonderful Ms. Lawson gave him special reading assignments and tried to challenge him. Ben was never unhappy or complained about being bored. From a maturity standpoint, he was very much on par with his peers.
We have gotten lucky again in first grade, with Ben ending up in the hands of a great teacher who's always stepped up to meet his needs. He has been going to a second-grade classroom for math, and twice a week he gets pulled with a second-grade group for time with a gifted-talented teacher.
The idea had occurred to me that sometime someone might suggest Ben skip a grade. Honestly, I have always been very resistant to the idea. I was surprised, then, at conferences a few weeks ago when my husband asked his teacher the question: how long is it practical for Ben to keep getting pulled out of his grade-level activities? At what point does it make more sense for him to move to a higher grade?
Thinking about what to do these last few weeks often has left me feeling overwhelmed and emotional. It's a huge decision. It's his future. Mark's right. There are a lot of reasons skipping second grade could be a good idea. Already there are logistical issues this year with pulling Ben out, and those will only continue. Plus, as Mark pointed out, if we're ever going to do it, we should do it sooner than later. We talked to the gifted-talented specialist last week to get her insights. She thinks having him make the jump could be beneficial. Ben's got an early birthday. If he'd been born just 35 days earlier, he would, theoretically, be a second-grader now.
I guess I'm thinking about it like a mother. Having Ben skip a grade would mean losing a year with him at home, an idea that fills me with sadness. He would never go to high school with Paul. In fact, he'd be in fourth grade by the time Paul gets to kindergarten. Then there's a never-ending list of possible social and emotional issues. Would he get teased? He's on the smallish side (sorry, Ben!), and that could be a problem for sports. He'd hit milestones later than his peers. And on and on.
We've decided to meet with a team of teachers and the principal closer to the end of the school year. This decision won't come easy for us. All I can say for now is to be continued ...
No comments:
Post a Comment