Here's one of my dirty little parenting secrets. One of many. I hate to mete out punishments to my kids, especially ones that punish me too. (Maybe another dirty secret is that I use the word "punishment." I think enlightened folk are supposed to call it "discipline," but I digress.) Here's the scene. Last Tuesday night, I had all three kids in Ben and Paul's room reading bedtime stories. Mark was at parish council that night, and my patience tank had only fumes left in it. Gus has been experimenting with slapping. Sitting in bed, Gus reached over and slapped Ben's face. Without even thinking about it, Ben slapped him back, giggling. Thinking that Ben had made an impulsive, bad decision, I admonished him and explained that it's important for Gus to understand that slapping is not OK or funny.
By this point, I was annoyed but ready to let it go. Then Paul started to laugh hysterically. "Stop," I warned, "or you will lose TV tomorrow." The laughing continued. "OK, you've lost TV," I said. Here's what I'm thinking: Crap, I'm going to pay for that. During Gus's nap tomorrow, the quality of my quiet time will take a nosedive. "Yes," I say, not prepared to completely punish myself, "you've lost one TV show." More hysterical laughing. "OK, you've lost all TV." Then Paul reaches over and slaps Gus. It's all just hilarious to him. By now I'm furious. "OK, you've lost TV and treats for tomorrow." And scene.
The next day, of course Paul asked for treats and his TV time. Yes, the quality of my precious quiet time was diminished with Paul's whimpering pleas for me to lift the ban, but in the end it wasn't as bad as I'd envisioned. I just hope that next time he decides to be naughty, he will remember this and choose to stop. For his sake. And especially mine, and that's the ugly truth.
No comments:
Post a Comment