Take 31

In our ongoing journey to find discipline that works with our kids, Mark and I once took a class called 1-2-3 Magic. The idea is that when your child is misbehaving, you give him three chances to stop. (That's a 1, that's a 2, that's a 3 - take 3.) The child would then take a three-minute timeout. We always thought it made sense for our kids to sit out one minute for each year of age, so Ben would get six minutes, Paul three.

Not for the first time, I got to thinking how great it would be if I could take 31 (OK, so it would be almost 32 - there would be a reason to appreciate getting older!). I just read somewhere that you shouldn't discipline your kids when you're angry - you'll end up saying things you don't mean and making threats you have no intention of keeping. I think this is great advice. Makes perfect sense. But the calming down part would be so much easier if I could go to my room and take 31. Too bad at this stage in my life, it's an impossibility. Taking a timeout while caring for a 3-year-old and 9-month-old is out of the question.

Oh, but how I could have used a take 31 today. We're having a tough time with Paul's sleeping habits. He usually doesn't take naps anymore. However, on a typical day he's likely to catch a catnap in the car or on a stroller walk. Yesterday he fell asleep on the 10-minute drive to Target early in the afternoon, and when we got home from Ben's baseball game around 6 p.m., he was so sleepy, I could barely rouse him to eat supper. This, of course, was enough to mess with his going to bed for the night. He was in and out of bed, completely restless. He finally succumbed around 8:30. Of course, this morning he was up bright and early at 6 a.m. Clearly, nine and a half hours is not enough sleep for a 3-year-old.

So, today I put my foot down. I told him he needed to take a nap. He was going to do it, and he was going to do it on my terms. This nap would be early enough and just the right length so as not to interfere with bedtime. After lunch, I told him it was time. He was having none of it. He acted silly, he got up, he lay there and kicked the wall. Me? I tried everything. Rubbing his back and trying to help him to sleep eventually gave way to anger, resentment and threats. He would lose treats and cartoons if he didn't go to sleep. I would take away his guys. It didn't take long for those threats to rear their ugly heads. Finally, I had to come to grips with the fact that I had lost the battle. He laid in his bed quietly for 30 minutes but never slept. That was the best I was going to get. Score another one for the kids.

If only I could have taken 31, maybe at least I would have been able to save myself from the shame of those empty threats.