Have yourself an obscene little Christmas

Warning: for mature readers only. :)

I've done it again, folks. I've gone and embarrassed myself. In this year's Christmas letter, I decided to tell a charming little story about an exchange I'd had with a friend from Spain. Some of you may have read it already. Carlos had written on my Facebook page that I looked so happy and that he was happy for me. I told him yes, I was happy - and exhausted, but in a good way. He responded, "I guess you are tired and happy. We say, 'jodido pero contento.'" That sounds lovely, I thought. I will include it in this year's Christmas letter.

As someone who fancies herself a writer and good editor, I should have done my research and looked up the phrase. I found this out when my mom read the letter I had sent in my presence. I was sitting in the living room when suddenly I heard her laugh uproariously. "What is it?" I asked. "Don't you remember Carlos saying this all the time?" she asked. Panic. Oh my God. What had I done? My friends, please don't be offended. I don't talk like this ordinarily, really. "Jodido means f*cked up," she said, laughing hysterically. So the phrase I had written - in my Christmas letter (!) - translates to "f*cked up but happy." My flight or fight response kicked in. What could I do? The letters were mailed already. There was no going back. "Don't worry," my mom said, getting her Spanish dictionary. "It says it means 'copulate,'" she said. "But it can also mean 'for heaven's sake."

Here's the last line of the letter I wrote: "We wish you a peaceful 2009. If, like us, peaceful isn't realistic for you, we hope you will be jodido pero contento." I was mortified. I had told my nearest and dearest that I hoped in 2009 they would be f*cked up but happy. The more I thought about it, however, the more I thought it was perfect. At least for my life right now. I never, NEVER would have written it knowingly. I had meant to sound all smart and cultured and it backfired on me in a major way. Oh well, like I said, the phrase is me through and through right about now.

Go ahead, have a laugh at your unintentionally potty-mouthed friend/loved one. I can take it. I think.