Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sweet solitude
Being the mom to three kids involves a lot of sacrifice. Any mom can attest to that. What do I miss most right now? No, it's not a good night's sleep. Though I do sorely miss that too. It's good old peace and quiet. Unless I can escape my kids for a couple hours, it's nearly impossible to come by. Whether I'm hearing Ben shouting, "Mom!" from the basement, Paulie laughing maniacally as he engages in some mischievous behavior or Gus's insistent cries, the noise pretty much is omnipresent.
Last Tuesday night my book group met. Tuesday nights are crazy to begin with because Mark has class. This particular day, my kids were in fine form. As is typical come 4:30 p.m., Gus was fussy and Ben and Paulie were just plain naughty. Mark got home around 5:00 and then left again at 5:30 for class. I had pumped a bottle for Gus, so though he was screaming and Paulie was having a meltdown: "I want to go with you, Mommy!" I shamelessly left the house. Early. Sorry, Mom and Dad. I will guiltily admit to feeling the slightest bit of pleasure (OK maybe a lot of pleasure) as I closed the door on the noise.
I headed to Target to pick up some items, including a Milky Way Midnight to help calm my frayed nerves (even though I was headed to dinner). As I sat down in the car and tore into my candy bar I thought of how nice it would be to go and eat dinner by myself. I imagined myself in a restaurant doing nothing but having my own quiet thoughts. Not even an evening of adult conversation sounded more appealing. But alas I had a commitment. After all it had been my turn to choose the book and restaurant, so off I went. I guess me time will just have to wait.
Last Tuesday night my book group met. Tuesday nights are crazy to begin with because Mark has class. This particular day, my kids were in fine form. As is typical come 4:30 p.m., Gus was fussy and Ben and Paulie were just plain naughty. Mark got home around 5:00 and then left again at 5:30 for class. I had pumped a bottle for Gus, so though he was screaming and Paulie was having a meltdown: "I want to go with you, Mommy!" I shamelessly left the house. Early. Sorry, Mom and Dad. I will guiltily admit to feeling the slightest bit of pleasure (OK maybe a lot of pleasure) as I closed the door on the noise.
I headed to Target to pick up some items, including a Milky Way Midnight to help calm my frayed nerves (even though I was headed to dinner). As I sat down in the car and tore into my candy bar I thought of how nice it would be to go and eat dinner by myself. I imagined myself in a restaurant doing nothing but having my own quiet thoughts. Not even an evening of adult conversation sounded more appealing. But alas I had a commitment. After all it had been my turn to choose the book and restaurant, so off I went. I guess me time will just have to wait.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I'm OK, you're OK
I'm officially suffering from political campaign overload. The negative ads, the near-daily messages left on my answering machine maligning one candidate or the other - heck, it's even coming in the mail now. It's inescapable.
It all came to a head yesterday. Now, I'm a proud Democrat who likely couldn't ever be swayed to vote the other way. I attend a moms' group at my church and it's no secret to me that most of my fellow moms there do not share my political beliefs. When it comes to confrontation, typically I'm a shrinking violet. When my comrades express viewpoints contrary to my own, usually I keep my mouth shut. Right or wrong, it's my way. I simply feel that they won't change my mind and I won't change theirs, so why go there?
I was surprised, then, when suddenly I felt the urge to speak up. "Does everyone know how they're going to vote," my mom friend Beth asked. "Yes," we all answered emphatically. Then the comments started to fly. Two of the other moms are not fans of my man, Obama. The other is on the fence. The two, it turns out, are big Sarah Palin fans. That did it. "I really don't like her," I said. "Why," they asked, sounding a little surprised. I went on to say that Palin was a gun-toting nut who espoused extreme religious views. Uh-oh. My mouth worked faster than my brain. I had not maintained the respectful demeanor that I try to uphold. I think I managed to surprise them. I've been attending this group for more than two years now and had up until that point not made any kind of strong statement.
After my friends (politely) refuted my points, we went on to talk about how unfortunate it is that politics divide people. I couldn't agree more. The truth is, though I don't agree with some of my fellow moms' viewpoints, I respect them and understand where they're coming from. I long ago reconciled myself to the fact that on some issues, we never will agree. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy their company and even forge some lasting friendships. So maybe I'll chalk up my outburst to negative politics overload, or maybe it was a good thing that I spoke up. (After making some the comments that came out harsher than I had wished, I did manage to make some important points, I believe.) I haven't decided yet. Whatever the case, I've made a decision. I'm OK, they're OK.
It all came to a head yesterday. Now, I'm a proud Democrat who likely couldn't ever be swayed to vote the other way. I attend a moms' group at my church and it's no secret to me that most of my fellow moms there do not share my political beliefs. When it comes to confrontation, typically I'm a shrinking violet. When my comrades express viewpoints contrary to my own, usually I keep my mouth shut. Right or wrong, it's my way. I simply feel that they won't change my mind and I won't change theirs, so why go there?
I was surprised, then, when suddenly I felt the urge to speak up. "Does everyone know how they're going to vote," my mom friend Beth asked. "Yes," we all answered emphatically. Then the comments started to fly. Two of the other moms are not fans of my man, Obama. The other is on the fence. The two, it turns out, are big Sarah Palin fans. That did it. "I really don't like her," I said. "Why," they asked, sounding a little surprised. I went on to say that Palin was a gun-toting nut who espoused extreme religious views. Uh-oh. My mouth worked faster than my brain. I had not maintained the respectful demeanor that I try to uphold. I think I managed to surprise them. I've been attending this group for more than two years now and had up until that point not made any kind of strong statement.
After my friends (politely) refuted my points, we went on to talk about how unfortunate it is that politics divide people. I couldn't agree more. The truth is, though I don't agree with some of my fellow moms' viewpoints, I respect them and understand where they're coming from. I long ago reconciled myself to the fact that on some issues, we never will agree. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy their company and even forge some lasting friendships. So maybe I'll chalk up my outburst to negative politics overload, or maybe it was a good thing that I spoke up. (After making some the comments that came out harsher than I had wished, I did manage to make some important points, I believe.) I haven't decided yet. Whatever the case, I've made a decision. I'm OK, they're OK.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I don't eat, I inhale
I have heard that part of an overall good attitude toward food includes sitting down while you eat and chewing slowly. Ha! That's not going to happen for at least another year for me, the chewing slowly part anyway. Somebody always needs something. The someone needing something most urgently usually is Gus. His cries never fail to motivate me to eat as quickly as I can.
In the morning you will find me scarfing down my cereal so I can take Gus before Mark leaves for work. At lunchtime, after making Paulie's lunch, I usually stand at the counter and devour my lunch so I can sit down and feed Gus his. Supper sometimes is a little better since there are extra hands around, but the hurry up and eat mentality still is in my head.
Mark and I were supposed to go out for dinner the Saturday before our anniversary in September. We had baby sitting all lined up, my parents taking Ben and Paulie and Mike and Kelly watching Gus. Unfortunately, I came down with mastitis, so instead Mark and I kept Gus with us and ordered in. Forget the quiet, romantic dinner. With Gus's cries making up the background music, we both shoveled in our food as quickly as possible.
Like everything else when it comes to children, this brief detour into speed eating is worth it. I have the rest of my life to chew slowly.
In the morning you will find me scarfing down my cereal so I can take Gus before Mark leaves for work. At lunchtime, after making Paulie's lunch, I usually stand at the counter and devour my lunch so I can sit down and feed Gus his. Supper sometimes is a little better since there are extra hands around, but the hurry up and eat mentality still is in my head.
Mark and I were supposed to go out for dinner the Saturday before our anniversary in September. We had baby sitting all lined up, my parents taking Ben and Paulie and Mike and Kelly watching Gus. Unfortunately, I came down with mastitis, so instead Mark and I kept Gus with us and ordered in. Forget the quiet, romantic dinner. With Gus's cries making up the background music, we both shoveled in our food as quickly as possible.
Like everything else when it comes to children, this brief detour into speed eating is worth it. I have the rest of my life to chew slowly.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
A new home
Dear Friends and Family,
Wismoms introduced me to blogging, but unfortunately when the site became affiliated with the national Moms Like Me site,the powers that be decided to do away with the blogs. Since I love blogging, it helps me stay sane and it's a great way to help me stay connected to you all, I decided to start my own. Look for my blogs here, and I'll try to update often with stories and pictures of Ben, Paulie and Gus.
Jess
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